Alright, alright, lemme tell ya ’bout this Ali Wong and her stars and stuff. Heard she’s a big deal comedian, that gal. Don’t know much about her, but the internet folks, they know everything, ya know? They say she was born April 19, 1982, in San Francisco. That makes her an Aries, they say.
Aries, what’s that? Well, they tell me it’s like a fire sign. Means she’s probably got a lot of energy, like them firecrackers the kids used to play with on the Fourth of July. Always goin’, goin’, goin’. Makes sense, bein’ a comedian, gotta have energy to be funny, I guess. Always jumpin’ around and makin’ faces.

But it ain’t just about bein’ an Aries. There’s more to it, apparently. They call it a “birth chart.” Sounds fancy, huh? Like one of them maps they used to have in school. But this map is for the stars and planets when you were born. Kinda weird, if ya ask me, but who am I to judge?
- They say she’s got somethin’ called a “Leo Ascendant.” Now, I ain’t got a clue what that is. But they say it makes her seem confident and outgoing. Like she ain’t afraid to stand up on that stage and tell jokes to a whole bunch of people. Good for her, I say. Takes guts to do that.
- And then there’s her Moon sign, they call it. That’s in somethin’ called “Pisces.” That’s a water sign, they tell me. Means she’s probably emotional, sensitive. Maybe that’s where she gets her jokes from, from feelin’ things real deep-like. Who knows?
They talk about all these planets and stuff bein’ in different places when she was born. Sun, Moon, Mercury… all them big words. It’s like a puzzle, I guess. And these astrology folks, they try to put the puzzle together to figure out who you are.
Seems like a lot of work, if ya ask me. I just get up in the mornin’, drink my coffee, and get on with my day. But these city folks, they like to think about these things. They say it helps ’em understand themselves better. Maybe it does, maybe it don’t.
I heard tell they even look at things called “aspects” in the birth chart. Like how the planets are talkin’ to each other. They got things called “Grand Crosses” and “Grand Squares”. Sounds like a big ol’ mess to me. But they say it means somethin’. They say a Grand Cross is real rare, like findin’ a four-leaf clover. Don’t know if Ali Wong has one of them, but if she does, maybe that’s why she’s so funny.
Anyways, they say this astrology stuff can tell ya about a person’s personality, their career, their relationships… everything! I don’t know ’bout all that. But if it helps people feel better, or understand themselves a little bit more, then I guess it’s alright.
Ali Wong, she’s a comedian. That’s what I know. She makes people laugh. And maybe, just maybe, the stars had somethin’ to do with that. Maybe that Aries fire in her belly makes her wanna get up on stage and tell it like it is. Maybe that Pisces moon makes her see the world in a funny way. And maybe that Leo risin’ makes her shine bright like a diamond, as them young folks say.

But at the end of the day, it’s just a bunch of stars and planets, ain’t it? We’re all just people tryin’ to make our way in the world. Whether you believe in astrology or not, that’s up to you. Me? I just believe in hard work and bein’ kind to folks. But hey, if Ali Wong wants to look to the stars for guidance, that’s her business. As long as she keeps makin’ people laugh, that’s all that matters.
So, there ya have it. A little bit about Ali Wong and her astrology. Don’t know if I explained it all right, but I tried my best. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go make myself a cup of tea.
Tags: [Ali Wong, astrology, birth chart, Aries, Leo, Pisces, comedian, horoscope, Grand Cross, aspects, natal chart]