Alright, alright, let’s talk about these…uh…horry-scopes, yeah, that’s what they call ’em. Linda Black’s horry-scopes, they say. Now, I ain’t no fancy city gal, I just tell it like it is, like how the rooster crows when the sun comes up, plain and simple.
So, this Linda, or her daughter Nancy, they look at the stars, I guess. They say the stars tell ya what’s gonna happen. Sounds like a bunch of hooey to me, but folks seem to like it, so who am I to judge? Like my old man used to say, “Different strokes for different folks,” though he was talkin’ ’bout horses, not stars.

What are these horoscopes anyway? Well, from what I gather, it’s all about when you were born. They got these fancy names like “Jay-min-eye” and “Cap-ri-corn.” Sounds like somethin’ you’d find in a barn, not the sky! But each one of them signs, they say it means somethin’ different for your day.
Now, they say Nancy Black, she’s carrying on her mama Linda’s work. That’s nice, I guess. Family’s important. Like how I taught my grandbaby how to make the best darn apple pie this side of the Mississippi. Tradition, that’s what it is. So, Nancy’s keepin’ up the tradition of star-readin’. Good for her.
- If you’re a Aries, they might say you’re gonna be full of energy, like a runaway tractor.
- If you’re a Taurus, maybe you’ll be stubborn as a mule, not wantin’ to budge.
- Then there’s Gemini, they say they’re two-faced, like a coin, flip-floppin’ all over the place.
- Cancer folks, they’re sensitive, like a newborn calf.
- Leo, well, they like to be the boss, the rooster in the henhouse, you know.
- Virgo, they’re all neat and tidy, like my grandma’s pantry, everything in its place.
- Libra folks, they want everything to be fair, like sharin’ a pie equally.
- Scorpio, they’re mysterious, like that old shed out back, you never know what’s in there.
- Sagittarius, they’re adventurous, always wanderin’ off, like a stray dog.
- Capricorn, they’re hard workers, like my old man in the fields, sunrise to sunset.
- Aquarius, they’re different, like a two-headed chicken, standin’ out from the crowd.
- And Pisces, they’re dreamers, like they’re always lookin’ at the clouds, wishin’ for rain.
Now, do I believe all this? Eh, take it with a grain of salt, I say. Life’s gonna throw you curveballs whether the stars say so or not. Like that time the cow got loose during the county fair, no horoscope warned me about that! But if readin’ these horry-scopes makes you feel better, go ahead. It ain’t hurtin’ nobody.
They say you can find these horry-scopes in newspapers and online. Fancy that! Back in my day, the only thing you found in the newspaper was news and maybe a good recipe for cornbread. Times sure have changed. Now you got these horry-scopes everywhere. Can’t escape ’em!
So, should you read Linda Black’s horoscopes? Well, like I said, it’s up to you. If you want a little somethin’ to think about in the mornin’, go for it. But don’t let it rule your life. You’re the one drivin’ the tractor, not the stars. And remember, common sense goes a long way. If it’s rainin’, you bring an umbrella, no matter what the horry-scope says. And if a bull’s chargin’, you best get out of the way, stars or no stars.
Anyway, that’s my two cents on these here horry-scopes. Take it or leave it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go check on my chickens. They’re more reliable than any stars, I tell ya. At least I know when they’re gonna lay eggs!
Tags: [Linda Black, Horoscopes, Astrology, Zodiac, Daily Horoscope, Nancy Black, Signs, Predictions]