Alright, let’s talk about this… this… Chinese thing, the Chinese zodiac chart printable, yeah, that’s it. My old man, he never talked about this stuff, always too busy workin’ the fields, you know? But the young folks, they always find somethin’ new to yap about.
So, what is it? Well, it’s like… like a bunch of animals, see? Twelve of ’em. They got a rat, a cow… no, wait, they call it an Ox, fancy name for a cow, I tell ya. Then a tiger, a rabbit, a dragon… imagine that, a dragon! Like them fire-breathing things in the stories. Then a snake, a horse, a goat… or maybe it’s a sheep, they look the same to me. A monkey, a chicken… rooster, they call it, always gotta make things sound fancy. And then a dog and a pig. Yep, twelve of ’em, all lined up, just like in a parade.
And they say each animal, each of these zodiac signs, means something. Like, if you’re born in the year of the rat, you’re supposed to be clever, or somethin’. Born in the year of the pig, you’re lucky, I guess. Don’t know much about it, seems like a load of hogwash to me, but the kids these days, they eat it up. Always lookin’ for somethin’ to tell ’em who they are, what they’re gonna be.
Now, this “printable” part, that just means you can get it on paper. Like them calendars they hand out at the bank, only this one’s got all them animals on it. You can find it online, they say. Just type in “Chinese zodiac chart printable” on that… that… internet thingy. My grandson showed me once, looks like a whole lotta squiggly lines and pictures to me, makes my head spin.
- Rat
- Ox
- Tiger
- Rabbit
- Dragon
- Snake
- Horse
- Goat (or Sheep)
- Monkey
- Rooster
- Dog
- Pig
They say each animal comes around every twelve years. So, like, if this year is the year of the monkey, then twelve years from now, it’ll be monkey year again. Makes sense, I guess. Like the seasons, always comin’ back around. Winter, spring, summer, fall, then winter again. Only with animals this time. And they got this whole… this Chinese astrology thing, too. Says your birth year animal can tell you about your life, your luck, your… I don’t know, all sorts of things. Seems like a lot of fuss over a bunch of animals to me.
They got calculators, too, for this Chinese zodiac stuff. You punch in your birth year, and it spits out your animal. My grandson did it for me. Said I was a… a snake. Don’t see much snake in me, but then again, I ain’t no spring chicken anymore, maybe I just ain’t lookin’ close enough.
This whole thing, it’s got somethin’ to do with the Chinese calendar, they say. Not like our calendar, with the January, February, all that. Their calendar is all about the moon, and the sun, and the stars, and who knows what else. Complicated stuff, makes my head hurt just thinkin’ about it.
But, you know, folks like their traditions. They like to feel connected to somethin’ bigger than themselves. Whether it’s the stars, or the animals, or whatever. And if this Chinese zodiac chart printable helps them do that, well, I guess there’s no harm in it. Just seems like a lot of fuss over animals. I’d rather know when to plant my tomatoes and when the rain’s gonna come. That’s the kind of stuff that really matters, you know? But hey, to each their own, I always say. If you wanna know if you’re a dragon or a pig, go right ahead. Just don’t expect me to make sense of it all. I got enough to worry about without tryin’ to figure out what a monkey year means.
And if you want to find your Chinese zodiac sign, well just remember what I said about typing that “Chinese zodiac chart printable” into that thingamajig, the computer, yeah, that’s it. My grandson says you can get one of those sheets with all the animals and their years on it, a real zodiac sign calculator you can hold in your hand. Just like those old time almanacs my grandpa used to have, only with more animals and less about the weather. Seems like everything old is new again, just dressed up in fancy clothes.
So there you have it, the lowdown on this Chinese animal thing. Take it or leave it, makes no difference to me. I got chores to do, ain’t got time for all this zodiac talk. But you young folks, you go ahead and have your fun. Just remember, an animal’s an animal, whether it’s on a chart or in the barnyard.
