Well, let me tell you about this 13 zodiac thing. I heard folks talkin’ about it down at the market. Said somethin’ ’bout them city folks and their fancy star charts changin’ things up. Used to be just 12, you know, like the months in a year. Now they sayin’ there’s another one, somethin’ called “Oh-fee-you-cuss” or somethin’ like that.
Now, I ain’t no scholar, but from what I gather, it’s like this. They got these stars up there, and them smarty-pants astrologers, they draw lines between ’em and make pictures. Animals, mostly. And they say these pictures tell you somethin’ ’bout your life, dependin’ on when you was born. It’s all a bunch of hooey if you ask me, but folks like to believe in somethin’, I guess.

- Aries: That’s the ram, always butting heads.
- Taurus: The bull, stubborn as a mule.
- Gemini: Them twins, always two-faced, if you ask me.
- Cancer: The crab, walkin’ sideways and pinchin’ folks.
- Leo: The lion, thinks he’s the king of the jungle.
- Virgo: The virgin, a bit too prissy for my taste.
- Libra: The scales, always tryin’ to balance everything, makes my head spin.
- Scorpio: The scorpion, sneaky and full of poison.
- Sagittarius: The archer, always shootin’ his mouth off.
- Capricorn: The goat, always climbin’ and climbin’.
- Aquarius: The water bearer, spills water everywhere, clumsy I tell ya.
- Pisces: Them fish, swimmin’ in circles, never gettin’ anywhere.
That’s the twelve we all know. But now they say there’s this snake-holder fella, this Ophiuchus. Apparently, the Babylonians, them old-timers, they knew about him, but they just kinda ignored him. Said they wanted 12 signs for the 12 months. Makes sense to me, simple and easy to remember. But now these modern folks are all stirrin’ things up, sayin’ we gotta include him.
I don’t rightly know when this Ophiuchus fella’s birthday is supposed to be. Somethin’ ’bout late November and early December, I think. But if you ask me, it just messes everything up. I mean, I’ve been a Sagittarius my whole life, and now they might say I ain’t! Can you believe that? After all these years, they gonna change my sign on me? It’s like changin’ the color of the sky, just ain’t right.
They say this Ophiuchus fella is a healer, a snake charmer or somethin’. But I ain’t seen no snakes around here, just chickens and cows. And if I got a snake bite, I’m goin’ to the doctor, not some star-gazer. They also say that he represents secrets and hidden knowledge. Well, the only secret around here is how old Mrs. Henderson really is, and I ain’t tellin’.
Anyways, all this talk about a 13th zodiac, it’s got folks all riled up. Some folks are sayin’ it’s gonna change their horoscopes, their personalities, their whole lives! Me? I think it’s a load of hogwash. I was born a Sagittarius, and I’ll die a Sagittarius, no matter what them city slickers say. Your life ain’t determined by no stars, it’s determined by what you do with it. That’s what my mama always told me, and she was a smart woman, even if she didn’t know nothin’ ’bout no Ophiuchus.
So, if you ask me, this whole 13 zodiac thing is just a way for them astrologers to make more money. They sell you books, charts, readings, all kinds of stuff. And folks eat it up, ’cause they want answers, they want somethin’ to believe in. But me? I’ll stick to the Bible and good old common sense. That’s always served me well enough.
So you can read all them fancy charts and calendars and New Moon, Full Moon stuff they talk about, and try to unlock secrets and such. But in the end, we are what we are. Stars ain’t gonna change that.

Tags: [13th zodiac, Ophiuchus, astrology, star signs, horoscopes, zodiac calendar]