Howdy, folks! Let me tell ya ’bout them zodiac calendar years. Don’t go thinkin’ I’m some fancy scholar, ’cause I ain’t. I’m just a plain ol’ body tellin’ ya what I know. It’s all about them critters and what-not, ya know? The signs and all that jazz.
First off, there’s that Aries fella. They say he’s the first. Always gotta be the first, I reckon. Like that rooster in the mornin’, crowin’ before anyone else is even awake. Aries folks, they’re probably the kind that get up early and get things done, or so they say.

- Aries – The Ram. Always headfirst, I guess.
- Taurus – The Bull. Stubborn as a mule, probably.
- Gemini – The Twins. Two sides to everything, huh?
- Cancer – The Crab. Sideways walkin’, maybe sideways thinkin’ too.
- Leo – The Lion. Roar and show off, that’s what they do, ain’t it?
- Virgo – The Virgin. Don’t know much ’bout that, sounds a bit too fancy for me.
Then you got Taurus. The bull. Strong and steady, they say. But also stubborn. Like tryin’ to move a big ol’ rock. You just ain’t gonna do it if it don’t wanna move. You know, like my old mule, Jebediah. He wouldn’t budge an inch if he didn’t feel like it.
Gemini, they’re the twins. Two of ’em. Can’t make up their minds, maybe. Or maybe they just got twice as much to say. Like those gossipy hens in the yard, always clucking about something or other.
And then comes Cancer. The crab. Walks sideways, don’t they? Maybe they look at things a little differently too. You know, like when you look at a problem from a different angle, sometimes it don’t seem so bad. They’re probably good at finding different ways to do things.
Leo. The lion. King of the jungle, or so they say. Loud and proud, gotta make sure everyone knows they’re around. Like that rooster, but with a whole lot more roar. Always gotta be the center of attention, like little Timmy when he gets a new toy.
Virgo, that’s the virgin. Don’t rightly know what that means, to be honest. Sounds kinda purdy and clean though. Maybe they’re tidy folks, like my daughter who’s always cleaning everything .
- Libra – The Scales. Fair and balanced, or tryin’ to be.
- Scorpio – The Scorpion. Watch out for that stinger, I tell ya.
- Sagittarius – The Archer. Aim high, they say.
- Capricorn – The Goat. Steady climbin’, slow and steady wins the race.
- Aquarius – The Water Bearer. Carryin’ water, good folks to have around.
- Pisces – The Fish. Swimmin’ in circles, maybe. Or maybe they’re deep thinkers.
Libra, the scales. They’re all about bein’ fair and balanced, like weighin’ out vegetables at the market. Tryin’ to make sure everyone gets their fair share, I guess. Not like that crooked ol’ salesman who came through town last summer tryin’ to cheat everyone!

Scorpio, the scorpion. Now that one’s a bit scary. Got that stinger, you know? You gotta watch out for them Scorpios, they might surprise ya. Like a snake in the grass, you never know when they’re gonna strike.
Sagittarius. The archer. Always aimin’ high, shootin’ for the stars. Like my grandson who always says he’s gonna be a big-shot someday. Hopefully he hits the target, better than when he tries shooting squirrels with his slingshot.
Capricorn. The goat. They just keep climbin’ and climbin’. Slow and steady, that’s how they do it. Like climbin’ up that big ol’ hill behind my house, you just gotta keep puttin’ one foot in front of the other.
Aquarius, the water bearer. Carryin’ water, helpin’ folks out. They’re probably good neighbors, always willin’ to lend a hand. Reminds me of old Mrs. Henderson who always shared her extra vegetables.
And last but not least, you got Pisces. The fish. Swimmin’ around in circles, maybe. Or maybe they’re just dreamin’ big dreams. Fish are kinda mysterious, ain’t they? Like them deep parts of the lake where you can’t see the bottom.
So, there ya have it. The zodiac calendar years, plain and simple. Ain’t nothin’ too fancy about it. Just a bunch of critters and what they’re supposed to mean. Now, I ain’t sayin’ I believe in all this stuff, but it’s kinda fun to think about, ain’t it? Like watchin’ the clouds and makin’ up shapes. Just don’t take it too serious, ya hear?
