Well, howdy there, y’all! Let’s gab a bit about this here “zodiac calendar calculator” thingamajig. Don’t you go worryin’ your pretty little head, I’ll make it plain as day, even if you ain’t got a lick of sense ’bout this star stuff.
Now, what in tarnation is a zodiac calendar calculator, you ask? It’s somethin’ them city folks cooked up, I reckon. It’s like this, see? They say the stars and planets and such have a say in what happens to us down here on earth. And this here calculator, it helps you figure out what them stars was doin’ the day you was born. Sounds like a whole lotta hogwash to me, but folks seem to get a kick out of it.

Figure out your star sign, they call it. It’s like findin’ out if you’re a stubborn ol’ goat like me, or maybe a flighty bird. They got all sorts of names for these star signs, like Pisces or Aries. Sounds like somethin’ you’d catch outta the creek, don’t it? But anyways, to use this calculator thing, you gotta give it some information. It ain’t gonna guess your birthday now, is it?
First off, you gotta tell it when you was born. Not just the year, mind you. You gotta give ’em the month and the day too. Like, was it in the middle of summer when the corn was high, or durin’ the cold snap when the well froze over? And they don’t just stop there, no sirree! They want to know the exact time you popped out too. Like, was it afore breakfast or after supper? Land sakes, who can remember such things?
- First thing: your birthday – month, day, and year. Don’t go forgettin’ the year now!
- Second thing: the exact time you were born. Down to the minute, they say!
- Third thing: where you were born. City, state, whatever. Guess they think the stars shine different in different places.
And then, they wanna know where you was born. Not just in the house or the barn, but the town and the state too. I swear, these folks got more questions than a nosy neighbor. But I guess if you wanna know what the stars was whisperin’ ’bout when you showed up, you gotta play along.
Now, there’s places you can go to get this all figured out. Some folks use websites, like that * place. You just type in all that stuff about your birthday and where you was born, and it spits out a whole bunch of mumbo jumbo. They call it your birth chart. Sounds fancy, but it just looks like a bunch of squiggly lines to me.
Or, if you’re one of them young’uns with them fancy phones, you can download an app. There’s a bunch of ’em, like Co-star, Reha, or Sanctuary. They don’t just give you the chart, they try to explain it too. But don’t get your hopes up, it still sounds like a foreign language to me.
They talk about your Sun sign, your Moon sign, and your rising sign. I ain’t got a clue what it all means, but they say it tells you about your personality and what kind of luck you’ll have. Me? I think you make your own luck, but what do I know? I’m just an old woman.

Important thing to remember, they say, is to get that birth info right. If you mess that up, then the whole thing’s gonna be wrong. It’s like bakin’ a cake with the wrong amount of flour. It just ain’t gonna turn out right.
So, there you have it. That’s the lowdown on this zodiac calendar calculator thing. Whether you believe in it or not, it’s kinda fun to play around with. And who knows, maybe them stars do have somethin’ to say after all. But don’t go blamin’ the stars if you stub your toe, alright? That’s just plain clumsy.
Now, you go on and have yourself a good day, y’hear? And don’t forget to feed the chickens!
Tags: [zodiac, calendar, calculator, birth chart, star sign, astrology, birth date, birth time, birth place, sun sign, moon sign, rising sign]