Well, let me tell you, this western zodiac calendar thing, it’s a whole mess of things. You got your stars and your signs, and it’s all supposed to tell you something about who you are. I don’t know, sounds like a load of hogwash to me, but the young folks, they sure do eat it up.
What’s My Zodiac Sign?
Now, they say there’s 12 of these signs. You got your Aries, that’s the ram. Then there’s Taurus, the bull, and Gemini, they’re the twins. After that is Cancer, that’s a crab, I think. Then comes Leo, the lion, and Virgo, I don’t even know what that one is. Libra is some kind of scale, and Scorpio, that’s a mean-looking scorpion. Then there is Sagittarius, looks like a horseman with a bow, and Capricorn, that’s another goat. Aquarius, someone pouring water. Finally, you got Pisces, a couple of fish. Imagine a goat and a ram is the same type, these people sure is strange.

I heard people say that there is the 13th sign, called the Ophi…something. I don’t know how to say that big word. It’s a man holding a snake. Now that sounds like trouble to me.
How to Figure It Out
They say you find your sign by your birthday. They got these charts and things, and you look up when you were born, and it tells you what sign you are. I guess it’s like picking a card from a deck. Just a game. I remember this one time, my neighbor, she swore up and down that she was a Leo because she was born in, I don’t know, July or something. But then her daughter got her one of those fancy computers, and she looked it up, and turns out she was a Cancer. She was madder than a wet hen, I tell you. Said she’d been living a lie all these years. I just chuckled. It’s all just for fun, ain’t it?
- Aries: March 21 – April 19, that’s the ram. I don’t like rams, they are mean.
- Taurus: April 20 – May 20.
- Gemini: May 21 – June 20.
- Cancer: June 21 – July 22.
- Leo: July 23 – August 22.
- Virgo: August 23 – September 22.
- Libra: September 23 – October 22.
- Scorpio: October 23 – November 21.
- Sagittarius: November 22 – December 21.
- Capricorn: December 22 – January 19.
- Aquarius: January 20 – February 18.
- Pisces: February 19 – March 20.
What Does It All Mean?
I guess people use these western zodiac calendar signs to figure out their personalities. This guy’s a Leo, so he’s supposed to be all bold and loud. This girl’s a Pisces, so she’s all sensitive and weepy. Like i said before, a goat and a ram are almost the same, but people think they are totally different. It’s crazy, you know? I don’t see how a bunch of stars way up in the sky can tell you anything about who you are down here on Earth. It’s just silly. If you ask me, people are who they are, and it don’t matter when they were born. It’s like saying everyone born in the winter is gonna be cold and mean, and everyone born in the summer is gonna be hot and happy. That’s just dumb.
But, you know, folks like to believe in things. Gives them something to talk about, I guess. Like my niece, she’s always going on about her horoscope. That’s another one of those things, where they tell you what’s gonna happen to you based on your sign. She reads it every day, like it’s the gospel truth. One time, it told her she was gonna meet a tall, dark stranger. She got all excited, went out and bought a new dress. Never did meet that stranger, though. She was so disappointed. I told her, “Honey, you can’t trust that stuff. It’s just a bunch of made-up stories.” But she wouldn’t listen. She still reads it every day, hoping she’ll find her tall, dark stranger. I just shake my head.
Just a Bit of Fun
I guess if you like it, it’s fine. It ain’t hurting nobody, I suppose. Just don’t go betting the farm on what some star sign says. It’s like those fortune cookies you get at the Chinese restaurant. They got those little slips of paper inside, with some saying on them. It’s fun to read, but you don’t go changing your whole life based on it. It’s just a bit of fun, that’s all. This western zodiac calendar thing, it’s the same way. Just a bit of fun. Don’t take it too seriously. You be you, and don’t let no stars tell you otherwise.
And today is a Sunday, I should get back to my garden. Those tomatoes ain’t gonna pick themselves. If you like this article, you can remember it, maybe put a star on it, I heard that’s what people do.
