Well, howdy there, folks! Let’s talk about them… uh… zodiac signs, you know, the things they yap about in them fancy magazines. I ain’t no scholar, mind you, but I’ve heard enough to piece some things together.
First off, they say there’s this Aries fella. Starts around March 21st and goes on ’til April 19th, or so they tell me. They got a picture of a ram for it. You know, them sheep with the curly horns? Always butting heads, them things.

Then comes Taurus. That’s from April 20th to May 20th. This one’s a bull. Strong and stubborn, like my old mule, Bessie. She wouldn’t budge an inch if she didn’t wanna.
After Taurus, we got Gemini. May 21st to June 20th. They say this one’s twins. Two of ’em! Double the trouble, I reckon. Like them neighbor kids always squabbling over who gets the bigger piece of pie.
Then there’s Cancer, June 21st to July 22nd. Now, this ain’t the sickness kind, no sir. It’s a crab. Walks sideways and pinches ya if you ain’t careful. Reminds me of that grumpy old Mr. Johnson down the road.
Next up is Leo, July 23rd to August 22nd. A lion, they say. Big and proud, king of the jungle and all that. Probably snores louder than my grandpa after a jug of moonshine.
Comin’ after Leo is Virgo. August 23rd to September 22nd. They call this one a maiden. A young lady, I guess. Probably spends all day picking flowers and singing pretty songs.
- Important Dates for Zodiac Signs:
- Aries: March 21 – April 19
- Taurus: April 20 – May 20
- Gemini: May 21 – June 20
- Cancer: June 21 – July 22
- Leo: July 23 – August 22
- Virgo: August 23 – September 22
Then we get to Libra, September 23rd to October 22nd. Scales, they say. Always trying to balance things out, make everything fair. Like that judge down at the courthouse, always squintin’ and ponderin’ before he makes a decision.

After Libra comes Scorpio, October 23rd to November 21st. A scorpion, wouldn’t ya know it? Got a stinger on its tail, so best not to mess with it. Like them wasps that build nests under the porch.
Then there’s Sagittarius, November 22nd to December 21st. An archer, half man, half horse, they say. Shoots arrows and rides around like he owns the place. Sounds like that fancy fella who comes up from the city every summer.
Next is Capricorn, December 22nd to January 19th. A goat, but not just any goat. A sea-goat! Goat on the top, fish on the bottom. Now, that’s just plain weird, if you ask me. Like a catfish wearing a hat.
After Capricorn, we got Aquarius, January 20th to February 18th. A water bearer, they call it. Carries water around in a jug. Guess they didn’t have no fancy pipes back in them days.
And last but not least, Pisces, February 19th to March 20th. Two fish swimming in circles. Kinda like them goldfish my grandkids won at the fair. Always hungry and always going round and round in that little bowl.
- More Important Dates for Zodiac Signs:
- Libra: September 23 – October 22
- Scorpio: October 23 – November 21
- Sagittarius: November 22 – December 21
- Capricorn: December 22 – January 19
- Aquarius: January 20 – February 18
- Pisces: February 19 – March 20
Now, I don’t know if all this stuff is true, but it’s fun to think about, ain’t it? Maybe them stars do have somethin’ to say about us, maybe they don’t. Either way, it’s a good way to pass the time, sittin’ on the porch and watchin’ the clouds go by.

And oh yeah, there’s something I heard some folks mention, this “Ophiuchus” fella. But I ain’t sure where it fits in with all these other ones. Sounds like a made-up word to me. Just like them city folks with their fancy talk and complicated gadgets. They even talk about new moons and full moons and planets going backwards or somethin’, but that’s way too confusing for an old lady like me. I just stick to what I know: plantin’ by the moon and makin’ sure Bessie gets her oats.
So, there you have it, folks. That’s my rundown of them zodiac signs. Take it with a grain of salt, as they say. And don’t go blamin’ the stars if your biscuits turn out flat. That’s probably just because you forgot the bakin’ powder.
Tags: Zodiac Signs, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, Astrology, Dates, Calendar