Alright, let’s talk about this here… uh… calendar zodiac thing. My old man, he used to mumble about it, but I never paid much mind. Always figured it was just a bunch of hooey. But the young folks, they seem real interested, so I figured, why not take a look-see?
First off, they got these things called zodiac signs. Sounds fancy, don’t it? Like somethin’ you’d find in a city slicker’s magazine. Turns out, there’s twelve of ’em. Twelve! Can you believe it? And each one’s got a different name and a picture. Like, there’s somethin’ called Aries. They say it’s a ram. You know, the sheep with the curly horns? Yep, that’s the one. And they say if you’re born between March 21 and April 19, well, then you’re an Aries. Go figure.

Now, these signs, they ain’t just pictures, mind you. They’re supposed to tell you somethin’ about yourself. Like, if you’re a ram, maybe you’re stubborn, like my old mule. Or maybe you got a temper, like my rooster when he don’t get his corn. I don’t know. Seems kinda far-fetched to me, but hey, what do I know?
- Aries: March 21 – April 19 (The Ram)
- Taurus: April 20 – May 20 (The Bull)
- Gemini: May 21 – June 20 (The Twins)
- Cancer: June 21 – July 22 (The Crab)
- Leo: July 23 – August 22 (The Lion)
- Virgo: August 23 – September 22 (The Maiden)
- Libra: September 23 – October 22 (The Scales)
- Scorpio: October 23 – November 21 (The Scorpion)
- Sagittarius: November 22 – December 21 (The Archer)
- Capricorn: December 22 – January 19 (The Goat)
- Aquarius: January 20 – February 18 (The Water Bearer)
- Pisces: February 19 – March 20 (The Fish)
Then there’s all this talk about planets and stars. They say the way the planets line up when you’re born, that affects your life too. Like, they got this “Sun in Pisces” and “Jupiter in Taurus” stuff. Sounds like a whole lotta jibber-jabber to me. My old man used to say, “Sun’s up, time to work. Sun’s down, time to sleep.” That’s all the planets I ever needed to know.
And get this, they even got somethin’ called planetary transits. Apparently, these planets, they don’t just sit still. They move around, see? And when they move, that changes things down here on Earth. Or so they say. They got charts and tables and all sorts of things to keep track of it. I swear, it’s more complicated than fixin’ a tractor engine.
Oh, and don’t forget about the New Moons and Full Moons. Now, I know a little somethin’ about the moon. Used to plant my crops by it, see? Full moon, good for plantin’ above ground. New moon, good for plantin’ below ground. But these folks, they got it all figured out to the minute. They know exactly when the moon is gonna be full and new and everything in between. And they say that affects us too.
And there’s somethin’ new, too, they got somethin’ else called Ophiuchus, but I can’t even say the name right. Some say it’s the 13th sign and some say it ain’t so. Well, I don’t know what to say, my old calender only got 12, and now they just add another one. Maybe next year they’ll find another one and call it 14th? This thing is just getting complicated more and more.
So, what’s it all mean? Well, I reckon it means different things to different folks. Some people swear by it, say it helps them understand themselves and the world around them. Others, like me, well, we’re a little more skeptical. But I guess there ain’t no harm in learnin’ a little somethin’ new, even if it is a bit confusing. Maybe there’s somethin’ to it, maybe there ain’t. But one thing I know for sure is, life’s gonna keep on happenin’ no matter what the stars say. You still gotta get up in the morning and feed the chickens, whether you’re a ram or a fish or somethin’ else entirely.

Anyway, that’s my take on this here calendar zodiac thing. Maybe you young folks can make more sense of it than I can. But hey, at least I tried, right? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go check on my tomatoes. The moon’s gettin’ full, and I gotta make sure they’re doin’ alright.
Tags: Zodiac Signs, Astrology, Horoscope, Calendar, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, Planetary Transits, New Moon, Full Moon, Ophiuchus